Alice Dryden (huskyteer) wrote,
Alice Dryden

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Shaggy cat story

Heathcliff the cat, stripey orange charmer that he is, had two gorgeous lady cats vying for his affections. He was perfectly happy with this arrangement; he saw them on alternate nights, and referred to them as 'A' and 'B' so he wouldn't get them confused.

The ladies, however, began to get fed up and demanded that Heathcliff choose which one of them he was going to marry.

Our hero, being a cat, was a keen connoisseur of gourmet food and a cunning schemer to boot. He soon came up with a foolproof plan that would either get the two females out of his hair or net him free dinners for the rest of his life.

"OK, ladies, listen up," he said. "As I am a great television and newspaper personality famed for my mischievous tricks, I need a worthy wife. I will marry whichever of you can kidnap a celebrity chef and bring him or her to my mansion."

Ms 'A' realised that the task was next to impossible and that Heathcliff was just trying to get rid of her, and she went off in a huff.

But 'B' was made of sterner stuff. Setting up camp outside the BBC Studios, she lay in wait until a celebrity chef came by. Swiftly she pounced, secured her prey with duct tape and hurried off to her beloved's house. As she knocked on the door, she called out excitedly

"Heathcliff! It's me, Cat B, I've Ken Hom!"

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