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Casino Royale

A SPECTRE For Hallowe'en

I had heard mixed reports of SPECTRE, but the thing about Bond is that, good or bad, I will have things to say about it. So on Saturday evening I skipped into Dorchester's shiny new Odeon full of excitement, and I liked what I saw.

  • It is CLEARLY Daniel Craig under that skull mask because EARS.
  • Wow. MI6 is going to get a big bill for that one.
  • Bond, you fool, don't jump into that helicopter! It's sure to be full of Bad Guys.
  • Never mind.
  • Starting a fight in a helicopter over a densely populated area is highly irresponsible.
  • We already knew the song was horrible, but these opening credits are really hokey. Sexy tentacles and Daniel Craig's nips. And I'm in the front row. STOP.
  • MI6 is indeed getting a big bill for that one.
  • Bond is injected with 'smart blood' that will allow his vital signs to be monitored. Surely the setup for a Roger Moore-style finale in which M, Moneypenny and Q gather round a screen and M asks Q to explain exactly what 007 is doing to cause these readings.
  • Bond, you fool, don't walk into that meeting! It's sure to be full of Bad Guys.
  • Never mind.
  • Is this really only a 12A because I had to shut my eyes for a second there.
  • Lovely, lovely car chase. Perhaps a little bit too Johnny English, but the franchise has been a bit po-faced lately.
  • Yikes. Johnny English takes better care of his cars than that (because they're Rowan Atkinson's cars IRL).
  • Props to the wardrobe department. Not many people look that amazing in a woolly. Nice boots, too.
  • Poor plane :(
  • Ah, everybody comes to Rick's.
  • Daniel Craig really gets the short end of the torture stick.
  • Again with the helicopters over densely populated areas.
  • Bye bye, Mr Craig. Nice exit.
  • HEY, where is my Roger Moore-style payoff for the smart blood scene?
  • Sit through ten minutes of credits to reassure myself that JAMES BOND WILL RETURN.

See? Nine-tenths of that could have been about any Bond film, ever.

And here is a major spoiler for you: [Spoiler (click to open)]just once, I'd like a Bond film in which the guy who's trying to shut down the 00 Section isn't working for the enemy, he's simply a bit of a git..


Is this really only a 12A

I think I shut mine for rather more than a few seconds...
I knew that I wasn't really going to see anything gory because of the certificate, but couldn't fight the reflex!

(I wonder if the bad guy on skis going into the snowblower is the most horriblest thing ever to occur in Bond? I found that worse than Casino Royale.)
Quite a bit of airborne hardware (and a hotel room) suffered rather, but it was the fingernails and fine drills that made me wince, and I'm pretty sure I didn't watch all the kissing scenes...
It was the eye-gouging for me. The drill thing was morbidly fascinating.
Both bits got me wincing...

...and I clearly never quite got past the "Can we skip this bit? It's got kissing in it!" stage...

Edited at 2015-11-03 06:39 pm (UTC)
:) Bond kissing is fairly inoffensive, as a rule. You know it's not going to get super steamy...