Husky Galore

I had heard mixed reports of SPECTRE, but the thing about Bond is that, good or bad, I will have things to say about it. So on Saturday evening I skipped into Dorchester's shiny new Odeon full of excitement, and I liked what I saw.

• It is CLEARLY Daniel Craig under that skull mask because EARS.
• Wow. MI6 is going to get a big bill for that one.
• Bond, you fool, don't jump into that helicopter! It's sure to be full of Bad Guys.
• Never mind.
• Starting a fight in a helicopter over a densely populated area is highly irresponsible.
• We already knew the song was horrible, but these opening credits are really hokey. Sexy tentacles and Daniel Craig's nips. And I'm in the front row. STOP.
• MI6 is indeed getting a big bill for that one.
• Bond is injected with 'smart blood' that will allow his vital signs to be monitored. Surely the setup for a Roger Moore-style finale in which M, Moneypenny and Q gather round a screen and M asks Q to explain exactly what 007 is doing to cause these readings.
• Bond, you fool, don't walk into that meeting! It's sure to be full of Bad Guys.
• Never mind.
• Is this really only a 12A because I had to shut my eyes for a second there.
• Lovely, lovely car chase. Perhaps a little bit too Johnny English, but the franchise has been a bit po-faced lately.
• Yikes. Johnny English takes better care of his cars than that (because they're Rowan Atkinson's cars IRL).
• Props to the wardrobe department. Not many people look that amazing in a woolly. Nice boots, too.
• PLANE CHASE :)
• Poor plane :(
• Ah, everybody comes to Rick's.
• Daniel Craig really gets the short end of the torture stick.
• Again with the helicopters over densely populated areas.
• Bye bye, Mr Craig. Nice exit.
• HEY, where is my Roger Moore-style payoff for the smart blood scene?
• Sit through ten minutes of credits to reassure myself that JAMES BOND WILL RETURN.

See? Nine-tenths of that could have been about any Bond film, ever.

And here is a major spoiler for you: [Spoiler (click to open)]just once, I'd like a Bond film in which the guy who's trying to shut down the 00 Section isn't working for the enemy, he's simply a bit of a git..