I have become so excessively bored and fed up with the election over the last couple of weeks that I almost forgot today was actually D-Day. I remembered in time, though, and rolled down the road to my polling station clutching one white (parliamentary) and one yellow (local) card.
There was a bloke with a blue rosette meeting and greeting in the doorway, which quite impressed me as nobody else had bothered; however, since I have a mortal fear of Tories, I just said "Good morning!!" and fled into the church hall.
My general attitude to politics is so la-la-la-can't-hear-you that I probably shouldn't be allowed a vote at all. Nevertheless, I am, and I always exercise my right. People starved themselves to death so I could.
You expected: LAB
Your recommendation: Labour
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NB: I am far too ignorant of everyone's actual policies to have rigged this in any way.