Despite every effort on my part, including taking every single key off and cleaning the whole lot as recommended in this tutorial, my expensive and beautiful wireless white Apple keyboard remains without a working Z, X, C, 1, 2 or left-hand fan/squirt/apple key. This renders it less useful, as I am currently demonstrating, than the ugly, greasy, clicky, ancient keyboard I liberated from my previous workplace when the one on my old iMac kicked the bucket (I don't seem to have much luck with keyboards).
Why was I born such a hopeless, cackhanded goof? And why am I even now drinking coffee at my desk? Do I never learn?