- Strange noises after dark which turn out to be a Tesco van making a delivery
- I drink so little milk that I can't get through a one-pint container before it goes off. I must have bones like sticks of chalk
- Pointlessness of slamming the bedroom door if there's no one to hear
- Increase in gin consumption when you don't feel obliged to offer anyone else one
- Possibility of getting trapped in bathroom and starving to death
Welcome home, calgor. There's a cake in the kitchen with your name on it.