February 1st, 2005

This IS me (by schwitters)Default

The name's Archer...Cate Archer

I went to PC World for a printer cartridge yesterday and walked out with a copy of No One Lives Forever for Mac, a game I've had my eye on for some time and which they were selling for half price, presumably because card-carrying Mac types wouldn't be seen dead in PC World.

The heroine is cast in the Mrs Peel mould and the back of the box promises to 'up the ante for plot-driven, 1960s-influenced spy action', so I reckoned I was in for a fun-filled romp. And I was...for the first five minutes.

I grooved to the opening credits, was summoned to UNITY HQ, learned that several of my colleagues had been messily killed in the last week indicating a mole within the organisation, cheeked my superior, sashayed my way to the Training Area and came to a grinding halt at the first obstacle.

I had to open a door.

Opening a door requires a right-click. I have a single-button Mac mouse, so I could only karate chop the door. This did not make it open.

Before you all leap up and down laughing and pointing at my button-deficient mouse, I should state that the controls demand three mouse buttons - which not all Windows boxen have by a long chalk.

I asked at girl_gamers and appleworld and the general consensus is that I should suck it up and buy another mouse. In fact one kind soul in appleworld suggested "So buy a three button mouse, Captain Obvious!", which I found most hurtful.

But but but. I've only had this computer a couple of months, and I didn't fork out extra for a wireless keyboard and mouse with the intention of replacing the damn rodent just for one game.

I suppose it's really no different from buying a dance mat, or bongo drum peripheral, and a mouse takes up less space than either of those. Plus the game came with a bonus CD of very Austin Powersy incidental music, so I'm still winning.
  • Current Music
    No One Lives Forever theme - Various Artists