January 18th, 2003

This IS me (by schwitters)Default

Catford to Barking

For today and the next few weeks, unless something better turns up, I am a typist for the Serious Crime Group. This is just as cool as it sounds, as I get to type up witness statements along the lines of 'I looked out of the window and saw a man lying on the pavement with his head in a pool of blood, and then I went back to watching telly'.

I was thrilled to learn that I would be inputting data to HOLMES, because we covered HOLMES in my Computer Studies A/S Level (in which I got a C) and thus I know various facts about it including that it stands for 'Home Office Large Major Enquiry System'. A clear case of stretching the description to fit the desired acronym.

I also get a neato security pass.

Funny thing about Barking. I can get there easily, but buggered if I can ever get back by the same route. You'd think there would be a couple of signs marked 'LONDON', London being a sizeable place, but no. And try as I might to retrace my steps logically, I always end up mincing home via East Ham and Plaistow. Today I spent fifteen minutes of my life which I won't get back wandering in and out of a housing estate in Little Ilford.
  • Current Mood
    seriously criminal
This IS me (by schwitters)Default

Kovu's Mighty Adventure

O lucky me. I was browsing the local charity shops and what should I find but a LARGE plush Kovu, my very favourite Lion King (or rather Lion Prince Consort). Furthermore he was a talking model with voice box and batteries in good working order and a moving muzzle. Squeeze his paw and he says "Who are you, Pridelander?" or "Rowr! Someday, I'm gonna be King!"

I snapped him up immediately (the lady in the shop was very sorry to see him go and warned him to Be Good as she put him in a carrier bag). Unfortunately this meant I would have to carry him around with me all day, as I was heading off to play football in Regents Park and didn't have time to drop him off at home.

So there I was, on a train with a large carrier full of plush lion cub, lovingly stroking his head cos I was so pleased to have him. That was when I discovered that he also talks if you squeeze his ear. But instead of saying one sentence and then shutting the hell up, in ear mode he carries on burbling random phrases for some time.

So there I was, on a train with a large carrier full of plush lion cub, who every few seconds invited my fellow-travellers to go on an adventure with him. I've had better journeys.

Incidentally, Talking Kovu is one of the most dastardly marketing ploys Disney has ever come up with. He and Talking Kiara were sold separately, but if you buy both they interact. To encourage you to purchase Kiara, every second phrase Kovu says is "I need to talk to Kiara!", "Can you help me find Kiara?" or "I'm looking for Kiara."

Anyone out there have a Kiara? I feel like I'm only hearing half the conversation here.
  • Current Mood
    jubilant jubilant