I can't pretend that it didn't, nor that it doesn't cross my mind occasionally. But in many ways, I'm not the dude who wrote that.
In one year, I've genuinely thought I could never be happy again and I've been happier than ever before. I've done cool stuff, made a bunch of new friends and discovered just how much the old ones care about me.
Two things in particular this year changed my life.
The first was dog-sledding in the Arctic Circle. This was something I'd been thinking, dreaming, writing and drawing pictures about for almost all my life. To do it for real, and to love it even more than I'd hoped, was indescribable. It was the greatest joy I have ever known - happiness that came from within, with nobody involved but me and my enjoyment of the dogs and the snow and the motion - a joy I hoard close to my heart and can never forget.
The second was another holiday - motorcycling across France with my father and some of his bike club buddies. This did great things for my confidence as a rider and as a person, helped me rediscover the love of riding I'd lost somewhere among my dull commute and The Fear, and led me subsequently to my adored new scooter and further adventures.
I've listened to this post's titular song so often it must have worn a groove in my hard drive. I bought R.E.M.'s Around the Sun around this time last year, and 'Aftermath' was the track that jumped out at me. At first I found it unbearably depressing, but over many listenings I started to notice the positive ending:
Well the universe left you for a runner's lap
It feels like home when it comes crashing back
And it makes you laugh, and it makes you cry
When London falls and you're still alive.
[lyrics | mp3]
It makes me laugh and it makes me cry. This is my life, and I love it.