My horoscope, according to Chat magazine's Cosmic Bern:
Baby news after you'd given up hope brings gasps of joy.
Oh, it's moving out then?
In other news:
- 'My wife had quads SO I HAD HER SLIT FROM EAR TO EAR'
- 'Terrorised by the perv in my manure heap' [he was sneaking on to a farm at dead of night in red spandex shorts to roll in their slurry while clutching a bag of women's undies]
- 'My 82-year-old Internet Lover'
- 'Save potato peelings, fry them up and sprinkle with salt and pepper for a snack that kids love'
And people wonder why I buy this mag! Chat teaches you just as much anthropology as National Geographic, and gives you the chance to win a month's supply of no-carb Bacardi Breezers.
