It's worth the ticket price for the fantastic opening titles. After that, leave the cinema as quickly as possible and go for a drink.
- Virgil was ever my favourite Tracy, simply because he's called Virgil. But Movie John is quite the hottie. I noticed this, of course, only after major Jeff/John hurt/comfort action IN SPACE. He's also played by a guy who rejoices in the unlikely but wonderful name of 'Lex Shrapnel'.
- Not that any of the Tracy boys (good thing the family name wasn't 'Nancy') got much screentime apart from Implausibly Preppy Alan, about whose unappealing pouty teen angst the film revolves.
- A plot point filched wholesale from 1966's Thunderbirds are Go, in which Alan Tracy gets all pissed off because his older brothers treat him like a kid. 1960s Alan, however, sucks it up like a man instead of whining brattily and jeopardising everyone's lives by stealing the keys to Thunderbird 1.
- As punishment, 2004 Alan doesn't get an extensive dream sequence featuring Supermarionation versions of Cliff Richard and the Shadows. Neither, alas, do we.
- OK, there were good points. The vehicles all looked superb, as did Tracy Island, and Parker was wonderful. He looked like Parker. He sounded like Parker. The poor guy had clearly been waiting all his life for this movie to come along.
- And finally: how the heck did Brains manage to procreate? We reckon he cloned himself.
Frankly, I'm sure the other eight people in the audience welcomed our loud conversation about possible Torchy the Battery Boy slash as an interesting diversion.